She had to do it.  She’d been working up the courage for weeks now to try and tell him.  It hadn’t been easy either, following him to where he worked, showing up when he went out with the guys, and each time failing to tell him what was on her mind.  Well, Ami Mizuno wasn’t going to back down this time.  Her goal was set and so was her chin.  There was hardness to her eyes that usually only appeared when she was solving a difficult problem.  The board was ready and all the pieces were neatly laid out.  A fire burned cheerfully in the hearth, cutting off drafts that managed to sneak into the Crystal Palace, and a tea tray sat nearby.  It was perfect.  Well, of course it would be since Ami was the one who arranged it.  Now all we’re missing is the guest of honor.  She nibbled nervously on a cookie as she waited.  He should be here any moment; he’s never been late before.

Even as Ami waited, the target of her plan strode down the hall, one hand casually in his pocket, and the other running through his hair.  Between dealing with Rei and Jadeite’s squabbles, running errands for the King, and trying to dodge his little stalker, Zoisite wasn’t having the best of days.  His step was a bit slower than usual and there were shadows forming underneath his eyes.  I’m not even sure if I should bother with tonight.  It was the night of the weekly chess game for him and Ami.  Zoisite cringed as he thought of confronting the blue-haired girl.  When he reached the door to the library, he stopped and shifted his weight from one foot to another.  A small groan escaped him as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Get a grip on yourself man.  You’ve faced down this little snip of a girl before and you can do it again.  There is nothing to be nervous about.  All right, here goes.”

He reached up to grab the handle only to jump when it moved.  Zoisite jerked his hand back just as the door opened.  Ami smiled up at him brightly and stepped back, taking the door with her.

“Hello Zoisite.  I’m glad you could make it, I was starting to get a little worried.”

Zoisite shifted in place again and shoved both his hands in his pockets.  He tried to hide his nerves behind a shaky smile.  “Well you know how everyone needs my guidance and wisdom.  I can’t walk two feet in this castle without someone coming up and asking me something.”

“Oh yes, that must be difficult.”  She cleared her throat and glanced up at him.  “Are you going to come in?”

“What?”  For a moment, he’d forgotten where he was and then realization hit.  “Oh!  Oh yes, of course.”

With that embarrassing moment out of the way, Zoisite strode casually over to his favorite chair and sat down.  Not since he’d been a Shitennou for Queen Beryl had he felt so uncomfortable around a woman.  He reached up and pulled out the tie in his long blonde hair and retied the heavy mass.  Even though there had been nothing wrong with it in the first place.  Ami saw the nervous gesture and smiled as she closed the door.  So he’s as uncertain as me.  The thought made her sigh and her shoulders relaxed.  She even walked over to him with more assurance than before and sat down across from Zoisite.  I can’t believe how far we’ve come.  When he was reborn, I thought for certain he’d be our enemy once more.  No one trusted him or the other Shitennou…at least, not until Minako and Rei fell in love.  It was still so hard to picture the stoic and serious Kunzite in love, but whenever his fair-haired Venus strode past him while he was on guard duty, he smiled.  He smiled in such a tender way that it almost looked like another person until she vanished and Kunzite’s hard visage returned.

I want something like that.

Ami had never had a steady boyfriend in her life.  She’d seen how happy it could make people though.  Whenever Endymion and Selenity shared a kiss, whenever Jadeite and Rei argued about what to have for dinner, when Minako managed to get Kunzite to smile…it was as though love radiated from all of her friends.  She wanted that for herself.  Someone to share her interests, her dreams, who would cherish her laughter and help fight her fears, that was what Ami wanted most.  Zoisite was a good man and the two of them shared many of the same interests so…why shouldn’t I try?  Why shouldn’t I be the one to try things for once?

“Ami?  Ami, are you all right?  Perhaps we should postpone our game?”

Zoisite’s voice cut through her thoughts and Ami smiled, busying her hands with the chess pieces and tea.  “Everything is fine, Zoisite, no need to worry.  Surely no need to cancel our game, don’t you think?”

“Surely…”

What am I going to do?  This is Kunzite’s forte, not mine.  Certainly he liked Ami well enough but he wasn’t sure what she was thinking while she’d followed him.  She trailed me all around the castle for a week.  What is…then it hit him when he saw how Ami kept stealing glances, blushing, and smiling at him.  Oh no.  He felt a headache coming on and groaned mentally.

How am I going to tell her I’m not interested?

That remained the question of the night as the two of them played chess.  Both were quiet, which was a change from the lively debates and jokes they usually shared.  Something casual had become so tense that neither of them could speak nor even meet each other’s eyes.  Not only that, but Ami became so distracted that she wound up losing the match.  It was the first time something like that had ever happened and she sat back in her chair in shock.  Zoisite’s brow furrowed as he picked up the black king (his favorite) and started turning it in his hands.

“Is everything all right, Ami?”

“Hm?  Oh yes of course.  Well…actually…” she shifted in her chair and laced her fingers together.  “There’s something I wished to talk to you about, Zoisite.  Something that has been on my mind for a very long time.”

“Of course, Ami.”  Zoisite tried not to shift in his chair, instead he just gathered his wits and sat straighter.  “What is it?”

“Well, that is, it’s something I have been thinking about for a while.  If I’m to be honest, I’ve been thinking about this for weeks.  What it is…well,” she took a deep breath and blurted out.  “ZoisiteIfindthatIhavefeelingsforyouoftheromantickind.”

Silence.

Damn, I was right.  Zoisite sighed.  Worrying about this wasn’t like him.  Sure she was one of the Senshi and he had to be considerate of her feelings, but he just didn’t see why she had to spring this on him now.  After being resurrected and given a second chance when Neo Queen Selenity inherited the throne of Earth, he wanted his life to be…well, his.  After devoting himself entirely to his Prince in the Silver Millennium and then dying for Beryl after being reborn, he wanted a life where he was able to choose his own destiny.  This was it.  This was the life Zoisite wanted and that life didn’t include Ami.  So, he raised his eyes to her and gave her a firm, steady look.

“Ami, I won’t return your feelings.”

Silence once more reigned supreme in the room.  Ami clenched her hands in her lap as her body started to tremble.  She couldn’t even meet Zoisite’s eyes anymore.  It hurt that he rejected her yes, but it also hurt that he basically brushed her aside.  He didn’t even apologize!  Ami rose to her feet and left the room quietly.  The door shut behind her as she allowed the tears to fall from her eyes.  I will not let him see me cry.  I won’t.  She could now though.  The young woman ran down the halls towards her chambers, fighting the heaviness of her body that just made her want to collapse.  Her sight was blurred and her face became hot as more and more tears dripped down her cheeks.  It wasn’t until she reached her room and closed the doors firmly that Ami allowed herself the luxury of sobbing.

Left alone in the library, Zoisite shrugged and rose to his feet.  He knew he was most likely going to get a talking to from Kunzite but that didn’t bother him.  I know what I want and it isn’t her.  Sure enough, the moment he stepped out of the library, the Senshi of Mars and Kunzite confronted him.  Both of them wore expressions of deep dislike.  Well, to be more precise, Mars looked absolutely scary while Kunzite merely looked like his usual stoic self.  They waited, blocking him in.  Zoisite sighed, crossed his arms over his chest, and raised his brow.

“Is something the matter?”

“What did you do to Ami?” Rei, of course, was the first one to speak.  “I saw her running to her room in tears!  What did you do?”

“Zoisite, explain.”

Their immediate accusations got his hackles up and he snorted.  “I don’t have to explain myself to the two of you.  This is a matter between Ami and myself.  Go back to being a harridan and a door stop, that’s what you’re good at.”

Rei’s face was purely comedic in its expression.  It took everything he had not to burst out laughing.  Kunzite didn’t look too thrilled so Zoisite stepped back into the library and shut the door.  After turning the lock, he chuckled.  I really should’ve had a camera to capture that moment.  I’ve never seen Rei look better.  He stretched out in a chair in front of the fire and closed his eyes.  He’d dealt with Ami and her little infatuation, now he just had to deal with the blow-up.

Meanwhile, Selenity knocked on Ami’s door.  She’d heard her friend run sobbing to her room and immediately went to try and comfort her.  However, Ami refused to open the door.

“Amiiiii, pleeeaaase?  Won’t you open the door?”  Even as Queen, there was still a bit of the old Tsukino Usagi left in her.  “I brought cupcakes so we can share!  Well, I sort of ate a bit from one, but they’re still yummy!”

“Please Your Majesty, I’d rather not speak to anyone right now.”

“Aaammiiii!  It’s me, Usagi, not your Queen.  Please won’t you let me in?”

There was a pause and some shuffling before the door opened just a crack.  Ami’s blue eyes were red and puffy and she was still sniffling a bit.  “If you insist, Usagi, you may come in.”

As soon as Selenity was inside and the door was closed, she wrapped her arms around her friend and held her tightly.  The only other time she’d seen Ami so upset was when the teacher in middle school told her she shouldn’t do anything but study.  Only this was a lot worse and as a Queen, she didn’t know how to deal with it.  Selenity may not know what to do, but Usagi does!  So she smiled, giving her friend the happy reassurance of the dumpling head she used to be.  Over cupcakes, Usagi managed to tease, console, and outright drag the story out of Ami.  When she heard what happened in the library, she was on her feet in a flash.

“I’ll pulverize that stupid Zoisite!  Who does he think he is, making my Ami cry like that?”

“Usagi, really, it’s all right.  I mean, perhaps I was a little too hopeful is all…”

“Oh Ami, don’t say that!  You’re a wonderful person and any guy would be lucky to have you,” Usagi leaned over and hugged her friend tightly.  “I think that Zoisite needs some sense kicked into him.  I mean, you two were such good friends, I was just waiting for him to ask you out.”

“No.  We weren’t friends, not how you and I are friends.  He was more of…my intellectual equal.  Someone I could talk to and debate things with.  I guess I shouldn’t have tried to make more of it.”

Usagi’s eyes softened as she watched Ami.  The girl was rubbing her fingers together and sniffled on occasion even as she talked.  Even Usagi could see that Ami still wasn’t over the shock of being so thoroughly rejected.  Although she was angry, she also couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps Ami had wanted to make more out of their relationship because of the other Senshi.  Rei and Jadeite were meant to be together and so were Minako and Kunzite.  Nephrite’s a really good guy and Mako’s really good for him.  But I just don’t think Zoisite is right for Ami.  So she smiled, reached out, and hugged her friend around the shoulders.

“Well, I don’t think he would’ve appreciated you anyway, Ami.  You’re too smart for him,” Usagi nodded firmly.

Ami smiled slightly.  “I do beat him at chess all the time…”

“See?  You need a guy who can beat you at chess.  So let’s eat some more cupcakes and have a good time.”

Feeling better now that she had cheered Ami up, at least a little, Usagi allowed herself to bask in a few hours of not having to be Queen.  It was a few hours of being the self she’d left behind when she ascended the throne and while she never would admit it to anyone…sometimes she missed just being Tsukino Usagi.  As the two girls laughed and talked, things eventually started to wind down around the Crystal Palace.  Zoisite even braved coming out of the library.  Although he was immediately confronted with Kunzite, Nephrite stepped in to save the day.  He brought his fellow Shitennou to his observatory and poured him a tall glass of brandy.

“I just don’t get it Nephrite, I really don’t,” Zoisite ran his fingers through disheveled blonde hair, green eyes feverish as he threw back a bit of alcohol.  “Why must everyone and their brother believe that Mizuno Ami and I would be a perfect match?  It just doesn’t make sense!”

“I believe it makes sense to them and you know how strong-willed some of the Senshi can be.”

Nephrite’s voice was the calm that Zoisite needed but it just wasn’t enough.  As he took another sip of brandy the Shitennou of Spring glanced moodily out the window to the sprawling palace grounds.  Everything was quiet but for the sound of the small fountain outside and the occasional quiet request for a refill of their glass.  Eventually, when enough of the potent liquid had worked its way through his system, Zoisite was able to relax.

“Why do they think that we would make a good match?  Is it because all of the other Inner Senshi have paired off?” Zoisite glanced at Nephrite.  “Even you weren’t involved with Jupiter even in the past.”

“I didn’t take interest in Sailorjupiter, I took interest in Kino Makoto.  There is a difference between the Senshi and the woman.”

“I have no interest in the woman OR the Senshi though.  I told her straight out that I wouldn’t return her feelings.  It’s who I am, Nephrite, and then all of a sudden I’m getting chewed out for it…” he grumbled and drank again.

“You made your point very clear.  Now, unfortunately, you’re going to have to deal with the ramifications of not following their set plan for you.  That shouldn’t be too hard though.  I’ve never known you to lack for courage, Zoisite.  Or cunning,” Nephrite raised his glass in a toast.

Mulling over this thought, Zoisite absently swirled his drink.  He certainly wasn’t a coward.  Nor would he act like he was the bad guy in this situation.  Everyone had a choice of whom they fell in love with and Ami just wasn’t the girl for him.  After he realized that, Zoisite grinned, thanked Nephrite for the drink, and headed back inside.  He wasn’t going to hide from his comrades or their girlfriends.  Nor was he going to change his mind.  The right girl will come along someday, I’m sure of it.  It may take a little bit of time, but that’s fine.  Hopefully Ami will realize that I’m not the one for her either and will stop bothering me about it.

Several days passed after the incident and Zoisite and Ami were successful at avoiding each other at all costs.  He wanted to give her the space to think about things and she didn’t want to see him in case he decided to turn cruel.  They couldn’t avoid each other forever though.  Even in a place as big as the Crystal Palace, they were bound to run into one another.  It happened a week after the disastrous library meeting.  Zoisite and Ami passed each other in the same hall while deeply engrossed in a book.  When they realized who it was, they both raised their heads.  Ami bowed politely…but Zoisite just raised his eyebrow and strolled on.  It wasn’t the most gentlemanly thing to do, but he had to do it.  To do anything else just wouldn’t be like him.  Ami sighed and shook her head as she continued down the hall.

“I can’t believe I ever saw anything in him.”

Upon admitting that, she giggled and smiled.  Thank you Zoisite.  Whether you wanted to or not, you helped me a great deal.  Indeed, he’d helped her understand the world, romance, and men a little better now.  Even though she was still disappointed, Ami wouldn’t let that stop her from carrying on.  Her Mr. Right was out there somewhere and she would find him.  Someday.